”Even though you may want to move forward in your
life,
you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be
free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt.
Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The
energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you
back from a new life.."
Mary Manin Morrissey
In the way-too-early hour of 5 am my sweet girl awoke with a growing pain in her leg. Once I had helped her to feel better and she lay back down to slumber, my attempt to return to sleep was inundated by a race of thoughts running around my brain.
In about two weeks I am due to re-enter a situation that four months ago was my literal undoing.
This situation prompted me to begin writing this blog and to begin surmounting a collection of original artwork. I dove into creating as a way to heal a severe bout of depression and debilitating anxiety. Writing and art have always been my salvation and again they brought back from the brink of destruction. There were some very dark moments four months ago and I was saved by the releasing the inner workings of my heart and soul.
I have come a LONG way in four months. I have been healing in a tremendous way and I feel more alive than I have in about twenty years. I love my life right now.
But in two weeks things are tilting back toward that place that undid me...and I am beginning to feel fret.
So at five am, I lay in bed with these thoughts racing around. I was pondering how to face a few of the people that worked hard to ravage my integrity. I am wondering how I will be able to force my body and brain into a situation that literally makes me feel repulsion to the point of projectile vomit.
That's no joke.
And this morning, as I travelled around the internet like I do each morning I came across the above passage in an unlikely place and in a spot that I have never seen before. But of course, this is how the Universe answers our innermost worries and queries. You see, this morning as I brewed my coffee and cooked my breakfast, before I even turned on the laptop, I gave the energy over to the Universe.
I released the fear and the doubt and the worry and I allowed it to be out in the world instead of inside my head, poisoning my nervous system. And this is my answer: "...In order to be free we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life."
That's it. Release.
Today will be about releasing the old hurt. Release and forgive. Be healed and be whole.
Today.
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