For my friend.

Kyle and Marissa circa (maybe?) 2008
image source: Kyle's facebook photos

So today is another day and I'm beginning to feel some relief.

Writing down memories of Kyle is helping.  There are many questions that may never be answered about why this tragedy occurred, about why my friend Kyle and his girl Marissa are no longer on this Earth.  And that makes losing him so hard and so horrific.

But the fact is that Kyle's spirit is set free from embodiment and we, his friends and family, are no longer able to enjoy his awesomeness.  He was awesome in so many ways, and I know that thinking about him and remembering how he made our lives better, does help to heal our hearts.
I know that people only tend to focus on the good in a person once they have passed, but all I say about Kyle is true and honest.  He was an awesome person in his own way.  Imperfect and awesome.
He was a guy that was hard to be mad at.  He was a guy you could easily tease and laugh along with him about his imperfection.   He was no saint, but he was kind, beyond most other people's standards.  Always willing to help (which is funny because he didn't like to work hard), and usually (like, 99% of the  time) he never got mad about a thing.  He may get frustrated or annoyed, but never mad or angry.  He was way too chilled out and cool to get angry.  For me, that was his best quality.  When you spent time with him he just made things so relaxed, you might quickly forget your own anger and just laugh.  When you talked with Kyle, if you were a friend, he always made you feel like you were important.  He always listened with compassion and care.  He was always able to turn things that sucked into a joke that made you forget your own issues and just laugh, just relax, just chill out.  Because that was him. That's who he was.

In remembering who Kyle was as we all knew him, this deep wound is closing in.  It is a slow process and in some moments, it is the tears that come so much faster than the smiles, but in thinking about him, there is some relief.  And so it is that I endevour to continue to think about Kyle and his lovely spirit.  His beautiful presence.  His outstanding, kind heart.  Because this feels better than being angry about why this could have happened.  And this would be what he'd prefer.  He'd want us to all just chill out, relax, and carry on with laughter.

Today, I created a word cloud for Kyle on Wordle.  I love everything about it, except that there are not enough words.  I intend to gather more words to describe who Kyle was and make an ever better word cloud to honor my friend, and to share with his other friends and loved ones.  I intend to spread smiles in his name.
Be chilled out my friend.
All my love,
Dalyce