great and not great

Great: my lovely husband got to stay home yesterday and get some big projects done AND spend some time with me.  Alone.  Without kids in the house. Sigh...

Not great: I guilted myself out about the messy house which I chose to ignore in order to paint and create art.

Great:  I painted and created art.

Not great: I had a HUGE case of the nasty negatives running through my brain as I painted.  Painting for me is like exercising an obscure muscle that I NEVER EVER USE, OR EVEN THINK THERE IS A USE FOR.  So, I beat myself up and faltered and felt icky inside, BUT...

Great: I pushed through it and vowed to make peace with it.  Another thought kept running alongside the nasty negatives: If you never TRY you'll never KNOW.  How's that for awesome?  Seriously, three months ago, I'd have allowed those nasty neggies the victory over my heart and spirit, but when I got out for my run/walk yesterday, I reminded myself that NO SKILL is ever an overnight success story.  Even the ones we were born to use naturally.  For me, drawing in any form is my strength.  THOSE MUSCLES are quite large and regularly used.  The painting muscles are not.  The painting muscles are so neglected that using them well is very much like using my pinky toe to balance my whole body on.
Miraculous!  But anyway, I am pushing through and accepting whatever comes of it.  And I am going to keep at it until I carve out a style that suits me and that banishes those nasty 'negs' to the wayside FOR GOOD.  Until my painting muscles flex with joy and passion.  And I am inter-splicing that with what I have strength in: drawing, so that I can still feel so happy.

Great:  I went for a run/walk and increased my stamina for run time.  I ran the furthest yet (if mostly down hill) and it felt so rad!  I am loving exercise again, because it is so much more than getting fit and strong in my body.  It is a major head clearing activity and it just boosts my passion so high, it is amazing.   I HEART OUTSIDE EXERCISE!  The absolute best thing.

So that's some great and not great stuff and you know, all the not great stuff ends up being great stuff too, because it makes me pause and wonder: why not great?  What can turn this around?  How can I make this better?  And that kind of reflection is so great.

Today is a day for a bit of DRAWING TYPE ART: Gotta get my mojo back and my heart smileys on.
Also a day to snap photos: batteries are all charged and the poor camera has been taking a back seat to other creative endeavors.  It deserves some attention.
Today is a day to get a bit tidy so I can feel less guilt and chaos.  This always helps me settle into a delicious art session so much better.  And today is a day to celebrate the young person in my life as she takes, yet again, to a place that makes her heart sing: the dancing stage. (a stage in any form is her favorite place to be).  So today is about great things and great people and great loves and it is the very best day.
I love you today.  Thank you for letting me wake up again and live in your beauty.