MY LESSON RIGHT NOW

Okay, so my dream last night had a big blaring message embedded into it: QUIT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU.
This is my lesson right now.

ALL my life, this has been my demon.  I am always concerned about what others think about: what I look like, how I act, what I do, who I hang out with, what I wear, what I say, how I perform, on and on and on.
I want to stop constantly thinking about this.

I want to stop letting this Rule. My. Life.

Because it does.
And when it rules me I am not ruling me, and that is so not okay with me.
But you know what?
I am recognizing this now on a more conscious level than I ever have before and I think that is the first step to recovery.
I mean, I have always been aware that it existed, but I held firmly to a belief that it was a regulator for moral standards within myself.  Be concerned with how others perceive you and you will behave properly and you will present yourself in a manner that pleases the world.
But wait a minute!
Hold the phone!
Why, oh why, do I want to live my life in order to please the world?
Does the world population live in order to please me?
No, certainly not.
I should live to please me.
I can still be a moral individual with good values and a standard of presentation that pleases me, but I do not need that to be tied up in what OTHER PEOPLE THINK.
Do as you would like to do, because you like to do it.
Not to make another happy.
We can only truly allow ourselves to be happy in moments.
Other people can influence our level of happiness, but ultimately it is up to us to decide, are we happy?
So, it is now time for me to investigate the issue which has been stuck to the inside of my heart and mind for too long.
Now is the time to peel it off and look at it and disband it as need be.
Time to live for me now.